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Comedic Quips


You know the honeymoon is over when the comedians come at you.

Received: 22Jun2010

Jay Leno

"The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree . . . and think 25 to life would be appropriate."

Jay Leno

"America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask."

Jimmy Fallon

Q: "If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?"

A: "America!"

Conan O'Brien

Q: "Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?"

A: "Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it."

Jimmy Kimmel

Q: "What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?"

A: "Bo has papers."

David Letterman

Q: "What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?"

A: "It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road."

David Letterman

Q: "What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?"

A: "One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners."