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Golf Quips


Review These Quips Frequently

Received: 08May2011

Quip 1 Don't buy a putter until you have had a chance to fling it.

Quip 2 When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use one more club or two more balls.

Quip 3 If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top the ball halfway there.

Quip 4 Everyone replaces a divot after a perfect approach shot.

Quip 5 A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.

Quip 6 Golf is the perfect Sunday activity because you spend more time praying on the course than you would in your church.

Quip 7 It's not a gimme if you're still away.

Quip 8 The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

Quip 9 You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two-inch limb 90% of the time.

Quip 10 If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at an earlier age.

Quip 11 When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

Quip 12 Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two double-bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

Quip 13 A good drive on the last hole has stopped many a golfer from hanging it up.

Quip 14 A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you are; that's why I get so many invitations to play.

Quip 15 If there's a storm rolling in, you can claim to have had the best round of your life.

Quip 16 It's amazing how a golfer who never helps around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks and meticulously rake the sandtrap he recently occupied.