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How America Works

point the finger

Received: 29Mar2010

The Restaurant Did It

If a woman burns her thighs on the hot coffee she was holding in her lap while driving, she blames the restaurant.

The Rock 'n' Roll Music Did It

If your teen-age son does himself physical harm, you blame the rock 'n' roll music or musician he liked.

The Tobacco Company Dit It

If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company.

The School Did It

If your daughter gets pregnant by the football captain you blame the school for poor sex education.

The Bartender Did It

If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, you blame the bartender.

The Government Did It

If your cousin gets AIDS because the needle he used to shoot up with heroin was dirty, you blame the government for not providing clean ones.

The TV Did It

If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you blame television.

The Gun Maker Did It

If your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame the gun manufacturer.

The Airline Did It

If a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilots at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the deceased blames the airline.

I'll Tell You Who To Blame

I must have lived too long to understand the world as it is anymore. So if I die while my old, wrinkled carcass is parked in front of this computer, I want you to blame Bill Gates.