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What It All Means

The golf amateur is encouraged to become a phylosophy amateur:

Received: 23May2010

  • Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a cold bottle of beer.
  • You hit down to make the ball go up.
  • You swing left and the ball goes right.
  • The lowest score wins.
  • Golf is harder than baseball; in golf, you get punished for hitting foul balls.
  • If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even in a strong wind, here's a valuable tip: you need phychiatric help.
  • Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking their swing rarely make a perfect shot.
  • A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers ...neither of whom can putt very well.
  • Remember, no matter how badly you play, you could easily play worse tomorrow.
  • Golf's a hard game to figure;; one day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green; the next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.
  • If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme putt", you might wish to consider another game.
  • On the bright side, if you can't run and you can't jump, you can take up golf and claim that it is actually a sport.
  • Golf is the only game where the most fragile opponent is you.
  • The best wood an amateur's bag is the pencil.

Sound Advice

Take the pencil and the score card and toss them into the nearest rubbish bin. Marvel at your good shots. Forget the bad ones and record neither.