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Experienced Felon


this is how it might have gone down

Received: 23Jan2011

This Is The Plan

Let me introduce myself; I'm an experienced felon but I'm not perfect. The other day my buddy and I learned that this college professor had some goodies in his house that we really wanted. So we cased the joint and found out what he looked like.

Let's Do It

As luck would have it, the professor and I are of the same race so I was able to get my hair cut short and peppered so that I vaguely resembled him. I grabbed me a cane from the pawn shop and we went to his house and broke the front door open. We were looking for the stuff when the police showed up.

Damn Neighbor

Apparently some nosy goody-two-shoes neighbor noticed us entering. I knew we were toast unless I could bluff my way out so I gave the cop the old: "Do you know who you are talking to" routine and "I'm a Harvard professor in my own house. I broke in because I lost my keys."

Damn Smart Ass

He didn't buy it. He said anyone with an IQ over 80 hides a key somewhere on the premises for just such an occasion.

He hauled us both off to the station.